19 Comments
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X. P. Callahan's avatar

This is one of the best things I have ever read on Substack, for its wisdom, of course, but also for its excellent writing. Especially this: "I have accepted projects that made me wilt. I’ve snacked on crumbs and called it strategy. I’ve said thank you through gritted teeth while slowly hollowing out." I wish I had been able to read and act on this post before accepting multiple stress-inducing, soul-destroying projects from Callisto Media, a deservedly defunct company, and the only editorial client I have ever fired. Yes, I'm naming names.

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T. De Los Reyes's avatar

Wilted and crumb-fed is a very specific genre of burnout I know all too well. What a hard, holy boundary that must’ve been—to let go of clients that are not aligned with your values. I hope you never have to contort yourself like that again. Here’s to only saying yes to things that don’t hollow us out. (And to writing the rest with our full selves.)

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X. P. Callahan's avatar

Never again. I am blessedly free.

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Cecile Somers-Lee's avatar

So wonderful. Some of these made me laugh out loud. You are wise. 39 is so young. Your writing is gorgeous, as are you. Thank you for this - a birthday gift.

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T. De Los Reyes's avatar

Your kindness made my day. I’m so glad the piece made you laugh—what a gift in return. Sending you a big, grateful hug.

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Morgane Andersson's avatar

I sincerely loved reading this beautiful piece! So authentic, wise, funny, and alive. Thank you ❤️

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T. De Los Reyes's avatar

Thank you for reading and the kind words. It truly means a lot!

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Mona Benjamin's avatar

A beautiful post, as always. Wsdom, humour and compassion in every sentence.

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T. De Los Reyes's avatar

That’s such a kind thing to say—thank you.

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Yomalis Rosario's avatar

thank you so much, T. 🤎✨

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T. De Los Reyes's avatar

Thank you for all the work that you do!

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Kate Bown's avatar

Happy birthday!

Oh how I loved reading your field guide for the almost forty. I laughed so much, I think my cheeks are stretched!!

So many so wonderful lines — your inbox is on fire. Believe in the power of baking soda.

Thank you for sharing this moment with us. So many relatable wisdoms, and a few I have tucked away for later reference — doing things with talent not terror being one of them. I am putting on my red lipstick tomorrow and owning it! 🙏

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T. De Los Reyes's avatar

Thank you so much—this absolutely made my day. I’m so glad the piece brought some laughs and landed in the right places.

Here’s to talent over terror (and excellent lipstick choices). Appreciate you being here.

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John's avatar

The self you leave behind

is skin you have outgrown:

Do not look back & grieve it;

Rather, look ahead to the wet, raw, unfinished self you are becoming.

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T. De Los Reyes's avatar

Yes… yes. Thank you for holding that line with me and for being here.

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Victoria Nordgren's avatar

The perfect soft boiled egg: put eggs in pot, fill with cold water, heat to boil, turn off heat & let sit for 3:45 minutes, 3:30 for a bit runny.

Thank you for this wonderful piece!

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T. De Los Reyes's avatar

Thank you for the soft-boiled egg gospel—I’m writing this down immediately.

And thank you for reading. I’m so glad this found you.

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Hiram Larew's avatar

Thanks for the Field Notes. Hiram Larew

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T. De Los Reyes's avatar

I'm glad you're here. Thank you for reading as always.

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